Is this a well-written College Essay?
Below is my supplemental essay on my application to the University of Chicago. Under this, you’ll find the prompt, and below that, the essay itself. I’ve tried to put in a subtle bit of wit and wordplay here as well. I’d like feedback on whether it’s well done and tastefully executed. Unfortunately, I’m not able to respond to individual comments so please leave me something substantive. And also, don’t complain that it’s hard to read or that the sentences don’t make sense; I’ve checked the grammar many times: it’s impeccable. I want substantive criticism, not pedantic nitpicking. Unless it’s so turgid that it becomes impossible to wade through, don’t even bring that up. Is it well rganized and cogently argued? Is it well thought-out? Are the points well-made?
PROMPT
From Game Theory to Ultimate Frisbee to the Great Chicago Scavenger Hunt we at the University of Chicago take games seriously. We bet you do, too. Even if “just a game,” sport, play, and other kinds of games seem to share at the very least an insistence that we take seriously a set of rules entirely peculiar to the circumstance of the game. You might say, in order to play a game, we must take it seriously. Think playfully – or play thoughtfully – about games: how they distract us or draw us into the world, create community and competition, tease us and test us with stakes both set apart from and meaningful to everyday life. Don’t tell us about the Big Game; rather, tell us about players and games.
ESSAY
The timeless appeal of games lies, I think, in their ability to satisfy two simultaneous and contradictory desires intrinsic to human nature: the desire to be a cog, an integral unit and viable part of something far greater and more glorious than yourself; and the desire to be a hero, a brilliant light in the dark and a salient individual who dares to rise to the occasion when no one else will; and who, by the sheer force of his will and his own skills, talents and grit, conquers insurmountable odds and wins for himself the right to bask in the glory of his deeds, the adulation of his peers and the bitter hatred and envy of his enemies.
A game is a trifle to be taken seriously, for frivolity is a serious matter. The old cliché “It’s just a game,” seems to imply a belief that games are somehow divorced from life and are thus of less importance. This is only half true, for when compared to the absolute essentials of life, games are indeed relegated to the background: you can live without chess or basketball, but lose your source of food or water and you perish. Yet one feels that, given these bare necessities, existence without any games to play would be pitiful, barren and void of joy. I think it would be widely agreed upon that the reason we like games so much is because they provide us with an escape from daily life. But what is it about daily life that we wish so desperately to escape from – that makes games necessary in the first place? The answer, I believe, is simple: games are man-made, meaning that we make the rules, that the world of that game is our creation, and that in that world – in stark contrast to the real world – we are very much like gods, and are fettered only because we’ve agreed to be.
In today’s world, humanity is still greatly limited in its powers – even if we act collectively, to say nothing of our limitations as individuals. Nature has placed barriers on all of us: we grow old, we die, we can’t change the weather at will. Governments have also confined us by compelling obedience to laws and forcing us to pay taxes. For the lone individual, the situation is even more grim. The rise of industrialism and growth in the use of scientific technique, though greatly increasing the power of humanity in general over nature, has virtually eradicated individual autonomy, and consequently, has made individual people feel powerless to affect their circumstances. Industrialism has made society highly organic, meaning that only very large organizations can hope to have any real effect on the course of events; and the larger an organization is, the more insignificant are the individual roles of it’s constituents.
What relation do games have to all of this? The role games play in palliating these problems is paramount. Games engender in those who play them, paradoxically, both a communal and a competitive spirit, and thus soothe the ills of both the individual and the collective in one fell swoop. Take, for example, a hypothetical game of soccer in which, after a beautifully engineered play, a team manages to break a tie at the last minute and achieve victory. The player who scored the wining goal is in this case the hero, as it was ultimately his masterfully executed shot that secured the win when such a thing seemed most doubtful. However, his teammates also actualized themselves as cogs, since it was their outstandingly orchestrated offensive and fancy footwork that allowed our hero to score in the first place. Wit
